If the GM says it, run away.

For those who play DnD, this list will not seem foreign to you.

*action*
[extra]
< inspired/direct transcript >

1. We’ll take this back up next week – my d40 should be in by then.
2. Pass me the d30.
3. *utter silence save peering over their steepled fingers to look at you*
4. *silent roll of die*
5. *silent roll of 3 or more dice*
6. What’s your AC again?
7. What’s your touch AC?
8. What’s your HP?
9. Any and all items on this list in innocuous situations.
10. Any and all items on this list after any decision.
11. What’s your Reflex?/ < Make a Reflex save. >
12. What’s your Fortitude?
13. (post-decision) *pause* *shrug* Okay. *starts rolling*
14. You detect no traps.
15. Oh, no, don’t bother rolling.
16. < The body moves. >
17. Are you sure?
18. < Oh, by the way… >
19. Okay, you kill the king.
20. Wait, what gender are you? …< [not anymore.] >
21. < How tall are you? >
22. Interesting…
23. < Don’t bother, it doesn’t make a difference. >
24. < *Falls out of chair laughing.* >
25. < *Laughs maniacally* *coughs* I’m fine. >
26. Any sentence ending in ‘…yet.’ Or ‘for now’.
27. Does anyone in the party have rope?
28. Make an Initiative check.
29. You hit him dead center *roll* no effect.
30. < Roll 2 d20s. >
31. Wait, I need a special die for this *leaves table* [*crashing sounds, sound of something large being scraped along the floor*].
32. < Your Health is low. Do you have any potions? Or food? >
33. You don’t know.
34. One of you brought a candle, right?
35. Sorry, 25 isn’t enough.
36. < Do you have a calculator? >
37. How many backup characters did you make?
38. < Prone Attack. >
39. < Everyone likes atomic fallout. >
40. The NPC runs away [bonus if a higher level than you].
41. You still have at least one spell, right? No? *rolls*
42. *sucks in breath* Ooh.
43. Make a Spot Check.
44. Make a Listen Check.
45. What’s your ____ bonus?
46. *Pulls out map* [particularly if they NEVER use maps]
47. *Pulls out xkcd map*
48. < Wait, who’s an elf here? >
49. < Make a strength check. >
50. Make a/n ____ check.



Expect more.

Pool Escapades

My house came with a pool. In consequence, the many neighborhood critters have a watering hole. A few excerpts from the record of things found in the pool...

Animals found in and around the pool:

-Grass and other snakes, usually quite small

-Frogs and toads

-Water skaters

-JUNE BUGS, Japanese beetles, ants, wasps, bees, rollie-pollies, etc. etc. etc.

-Possums

-Raccoons

-Armadillo

-Neighbors' pet cats

-Tarantulas, daddy-long-legs, etc.

-Rats

-Squirrels

Yesterday we discovered a new addition!

Please welcome...the baby-bobcat-sized-SKUNK!

My mom almost cried when I told her that I'd discovered what'd eaten her garden...

We've had armadillos eat the bulbs before, so that's what she though it was. Nope. Skunk.

And he's BIG. Maybe it's just the fur, but I don't savor the thought of catching that bid guy, which is apparently what we have to do. What? There's Animal Control for a reason!

He was just waddling along the fence when me and my friends stuck our heads out. I thought they were kidding at first.

Nope.

SKUNK.

We've had interesting things happen cleaning out the pool, though. The steps are too high for anything to get out once it's fallen in, so from time to time we must rid it of a bevy of corpses.

We'll start with one of my first memories, taking a tarantula from the pool to school in a peanut butter jar. Interestingly, I used to be terrified of spiders and perfectly at home in the dark. Now I'm mostly okay with spiders, and terrified of the dark. or course, my horrendous vision probably has something to do with that.

Anyway, I carried Peter Parker around the school for the day, creeping out my female classmates and some of the guys. Then we let him go behind the bridge near my house. Not too eventful.

Next, we have the day mom needed my help.

I tried using two grocery bags and doubling them, then making them like a glove and grabbing it, but I couldn't get up the nerve. In the end, mom picked up the dead rat with the metal spoons and dropped it in the bags.

I had to help dad similarly, but with a dead squirrel. For some reason mom couldn't deal with it (and of course I had fun after, making her squirm >>). Unlike the floppy, sodden rat, the squirrel's fur had flattened with damp and then its body had gone into rigor, with its tail stuck out. For some reason all I could do was laugh.

Lastly:

My dad was about to go to bed. He went out and checked the pool.

There was a dead baby possum in it.

He fished the possum out, and, wary of it reviving and tearing up the garbage, he left it on the side of the pool and went back in for a few minutes.

Upon his return, not only was the possum pretty dead, but a second possum had fallen in...after passing by the corpse of its brother.

Now, dad was pretty tired; he wanted to go to bed, not wait for another freaking possum to possibly revive, so when he pulled this one out, he tried to devise a way to tell if it was dead.

He picked up a stick and poked it in the eye.

We're pretty sure it was dead.

Aikido, 1

So yesterday we had an aikidoist from another dojo come by and had something of a seminar. I stayed for the first two hours, which is the normal amount of time I spend there anyway; but those two hours I was worked more than I ever have been in my entire life. Accumulatively.

Not to say that it was bad - it was fantastic! David Helpner-Shihan handled the second hour. It was interesting, his contrast to Birdsong-Sensei's very rambunctious kind of teaching. The first technique, he showed once - then it was our turn.

He got more into the swing of things as time progressed - spent more time showing techniques (well, the first was a stretch, which accounts for it), and showed beginner versions of the techniques that otherwise involved slamming on the ground. We have a very soft mat (apparently) but I was definitely not ready for that.

Only real problem was that I messed up a fall in the first hour and whacked my head (then hit it again on the uber-hard arm of the dojo couch during the break). I spent the rest of the day with a headache...and then woke up this morning with a lighter, but equally pervasive, encore. I also did some koshi, which involved holding someone across the small of my back (I did not do the slamming bit). It's kind of hard to get right, and I think my already hurting spine suffered. In short, I'm hoping the chiropractor's open tomorrow.

It was still a lot of fun. A bit intimidating for an 8-A kyu-er to come in with so many black belts and other adults (the adult class is usually five to fifteen people, not thirty or so), but overall very helpful. If you've never tried Aikido, it might be a good idea to at least look into it.

Working

Some people have a particular way of working. The closest word I can think of is a 'groove' - when we're interrupted, we stop, and are stuck.

Working in a groove is generally really useful, and easy to notice when on the computer. I now realize I do it while doing essays in English class (which probably explains why I always finish in half the time or less). One major problem is that once you lose your steam, it can take forever to get it back. Moreso if you used it up - once I finish an essay, I can spend an hour staring at the page, KNOWING I could make it better, and never be able to change a thing.

Fact is, I'm not in a posting groove right now, which is probably why this is so disjointed. What I really want to say is this - if you find someone working, whether you think they're in a groove or not, wait until they get up and interrupt themselves before asking them to do something, please.